Ok, I admit it. I may just be the worst blogger on the interwebs. Not only do I not update very frequently anymore, I promise pictures and posts that I end up never getting around to. After all of these months of using the fact that Bangalore is boring as my main excuse for not posting that much, I go on vacation, see a bunch of cool stuff, and then don't blog about it. I think the reason that I have been dragging my ass is that I came back from this vacation in a down-on-India funk. Seeing Lori after so many months was wonderful, but it also made me unexpectedly homesick. That and being treated like a total outsider in a country I have lived in for close to ten months now - all the staring, begging, requests for pictures, and exorbitant price-quoting added up. And don't even get me started on the excessive boob-elbowing or the creepy guy behind me on an airplane who reached forward between the seats to stroke my (bare) upper arm. (Not this guy!)










I guess I have taken Bangalore for granted. Yes, it's filthy here, and crowded, and pretty boring, but I know places to go where I won't be bothered or completely taken advantage of, and people aren't all that excited to see a whitey in their midst. It is uncomfortable, but nothing compared to the tourist meccas we visited. I actually thought that in these cities (Delhi, Agra, Jaipur, and Goa) they would be more used to seeing foreigners. And to seeing women unaccompanied by men (Tim left us in Agra to play in an all-India tournament). Whether or not they're used to it, they definitely made it plain that to them, white skin equals walking ATM. And that two white girls without a man equal easy targets. And whether or not it should have, that definitely did take something away from all of the amazing things we saw and did.


Although it seems silly in retrospect, the one encounter that infuriated me more than any other occurred on the beach in Goa. It was hot as hell - I think around 100 degrees with 80 percent humidity. There were shacks set up along the beach selling refreshments, and I wanted to buy tender coconuts for Lori and myself. Normally, a tender coconut (which, by the way, is a green, unripened coconut that is almost completely hollow and filled with slightly sweet water) costs 15 rupees. The coconut wallah cuts the top of the fruit off with a machete and gives you a straw. When you are finished with your drink, the coconut wallah will then cut the coconut in half so that you can scoop out the raw, gelatinous fruit inside to eat as a snack. This is always done free of charge. I have had coconuts here in Bangalore, in Mysore, in Coorg, and in Kerala, and they always cost around 15 rupees, no more than that.



So I was completely shocked and offended when I was told by the Goan coconut wallah that it would cost 100 rupees for two coconuts! I bargained this lady down to 50 rupees begrudgingly, arguing with her that even that price was grossly inflated and unjustified. When I was finished drinking the water, the lady cut my coconut in half and promptly demanded another 50 rupees. 50 rupees for one swing of her machete. This is when I lost my temper. I started arguing with the lady, trying to give her the coconut back. Soon, we were surrounded by the merchants from all of the other shacks. The arguing went on and on but went nowhere, and I could tell that Lori thought I was being a cheap asshole. After all, 50 rupees is just a dollar. But it wasn't the money that upset me. Part of me does feel like a cheap asshole, denying this destitute woman two measly dollars that I can easily afford. It was the principle of the thing that bothered me, being treated unfairly because of my skin color. The fact that I live here and was clearly in-the-know about the normal cost of a coconut meant nothing to these people. I gave her the money and then the coconut tasted like shit afterwards.



I should explain that this occurred after several incidents of being fleeced (i.e, cab rides that were the equivalent of two overnight train tickets,etc., etc., etc.), and that at that moment, I had two hundred dollars wrapped up in a horrible hotel we had prepaid for and left, and another 400 dollars wrapped up in a mistake made by the website we used to book the hotel we fled to. So I was feeling a little strained as it was. See? This is why I didnt want to blog about it - I knew I would end up spewing a bunch of negativity, which I work hard to avoid on here. And I knew I would tell the coconut story and that you wouldn't get me, and would think that I am a cheap asshole. And that Lori, if she read this, would roll her eyes and wonder why I can't drop the fucking coconut issue. Sorry.



The vacation was overall pretty awesome, and I am certainly a lucky lady to be over here and going to the Taj Mahal and other cool places. I loved being able to share my India experience with Lori. But for those of you who have written to me about coming out here to visit, I'm still a little bit over India. I'm over the crowds and the dust and the piles of cow shit with their swarms of flies. And I'm over the food and even more than that, the lack of any other food. And I'm over being stared at and arguing with people, and having people not understand me. I I want to see you, I just don't want to do that here. Can't we meet up in Thailand?











Anyway, I posted all of my pictures to Facebook already, so I thought I would share a few video clips that no one has seen yet. Unfortunately, I am having major issues with them, so that will have to wait until I figure out how to fix the problem.







For those of you who haven't seem 'em yet, here are the links to our vacation photo albums:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=58812&id=1224772551&l=cde6cc9035

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=58988&id=1224772551&l=46c3627bd6

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=58732&id=1224772551&l=3e5118115d

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=58682&id=1224772551&l=8fb6c65a68

Ladies' Night

Friday was my last day in the office before my vacation. On Monday, I am meeting my friend Lori in Delhi, and from there we are going to Agra, Jaipur, and Goa before heading back down to Bangalore. Lots of pictures and posts will follow, but in the meantime, here are pictures from the pajama party that started off my vacation. My co-worker Asmita was our host, and my favorite lady in all of India, GunGun, made a surprise appearance.

GunGun shows up at the office ready to get the party started.



She outdid all of us by wearing a glamorous lehenga, tiny bangles, and a pearl necklace she fought her mother to wear.



Obviously, she was the star of the party



Getting our party favors


Proof that babies like me



true fashion icon



Somrita, Swati, Asmita, Navanita, and Chandini


GunGun dancing with Mamta


Stuti entertaining us with some classical Indian dance moves. They also forced me to sing. Luckily, no pictures of that.




Mamta and Chandini



GunGun and her mom,Sangeeta


Stuti - the quintessential hostess, even in someone else's house



Several of the ladies trying alcohol for the very first time - tequila shots! This was not my idea.


Somrita



Mamta putting KETCHUP on her pizza. :(

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day from your favorite homosexual feline couple. While the boys spent the livelong day having a snuggle fest on all of our formerly clean laundry, Tim and I went out for some delicious sushi. Also, I may have mentioned this before, but Wasabi Ice Cream is the best flavor on earth and I'm in love with it. Happy Valentine's Day, Wasabi Ice Cream. Will you marry me?

HAPPY MAHASHIVARATHRI

So today is Mahashivarathri and we still had to work, which makes me think that this holiday could be cooler. It's still kind of cool because it's the holiday celebrating Lord Shiva, who was known for having a third eye, smoking lots of ganja, and ending the world by doing a literally kickass dance. And, on this holiday, people worship Shiva Lingams, which are phalluses. And by worship I'm talking about bathing these phalluses in milk! You get the picture. Today is also majorly auspicious, if you are into auspiciousness. Single ladies, many of whom are my co-workers,fast all day long in the hopes that doing this will bring them a good husband. Some eat fruit and milk, but the ones who want the really good hubbies go the entire day without even having water. I was totally going to do this but gave up my fast by lunchtime....the veg kadai kept calling my name. Bitter old-maid cat lady, here I come!

Tim's first Indian Tournament...and first stitches

Cult Fun

We have this thing at work called the "Cult Fun Committee". I was REALLY excited the first time I got an email from the Cult Fun Committee, but to my disappointment, they were not inviting me to rad brainwashing/kool-aid-drinking parties. No, unfortunately, "Cult" here is short for "cultural" - "cultural" meaning INDIAN culture specifically. The Cult Fun Committee plans activities once a month, usually coinciding with our monthly samosa and cake group birthday celebration. This month's Cult Fun was a Saree Day. All of the ladies were required to dress in sarees, and the men were to wear kurtas (aka tunics). As opposed to the "Ethnic Day" we had a few months ago, there was no requirement that the dress be traditional, so I borrowed a more modern/trendy (and much lighter)satin and chiffon saree from Stuti's growing collection. Here are some pics of us getting our Cult Fun on this afternoon:

Stuti (the cutie) rockin' it.


Mamta and me taking a break outside


How jealous are you of this weather?


I'm down with any culture that supports mass consumption of junk food


Another monthly tradition - hand-feeding cake to the birthday people. Definitely forbidden among Philly dockers.


Navanita (winner of the day's "Best Dressed Lady" award), Swati, and Tanushree


Archana and others enjoying the first of what would be TWO cake-eating sessions today. It was also our friend Jason's last day, which apparently called for separate cakes.


Bindu in my favorite saree of the day. Pics did not do it justice - it was amazing.



Subhojyothi and Jyothi, best buds.


Lovely Satarupa


Me and the ladies working hard


Prathviraj knows how to accessorize


Jason. I positively adore this guy and am super sad he is leaving.


Our receptionist, Mona. I want to surgically transplant her hair onto my head.


Mithun and I in the office park's food court. I wanted the whole saree in the picture, but now it looks like this was taken from up on a ladder. It was not.


Ladies of Clutch Group


UPDATE: This old picture of Gulabi enjoying some cult fun of his own made it onto the site Pets That Want to Kill Themselves.com!!