Ok, India is fun again.

So, while I apologize for complaining in my last post, I am only trying to keep it real, y'all. And I've been bummed and thought you should know. But I am happy again, and here's why: I am being interviewed by the Wall Street Journal on Monday!!! I will give more details later, but I am SUPER EXCITED!!!!!

Finally really homesick

I spent five days in the hospital, and then I came home and decided that India is dirty and frustrating and not that cool anymore. And I cried and decided that I wanted to come home. And then I went to work and crazy stuff happened that made me want to quit. And I REALLY wanted to come home. But I am going to stay and try to find India funny again. I really miss home.

Hello

As surprising as this might seem, I've been duped by a street urchin. SHE'S AWAKE.

Andy, help me.

For the rest of you food lovers,

South Indian food has a very distinct flavor and style, both of which I have been been fortunate enough to enough to enjoy. Details to follow.

Apparently, someone, Andy B excluded, didn't get the last message.

The food tastes great, but gives you (everyone) the runs.

She's out cold

I've spent most of my time here perusing the local fare and I can say, without reservation, that the food is di-er-re-ti-cal-ly (sound it out) perfect.

Tim's first contribution

I spent five days in an Indian Hospital. Debra was there too. She made up something about a "kidney stone." i'M PRETY SURE i KNOW WHAT A STONE IS, BUT WHAT's a kidney? Good news! the caps lock button works.

I'm in love . . .

with Indian food

I mostly eat what I'm told, but every once in a while (M-F 9:30AM-7:00PM) I'm left to fend for myself.

Andy,

Indian Domino's pizza is spectacular.

?!?!?!

Fast forward to the 30 second mark. This commercial is always on TV here, and I never pay attention until the end, when I hear what sounds like......well, just listen to it yourself.

Merry Krishmas!

Today is Janmashtami, the celebration of the birth of Baby Krishna. Baby Krishna was clearly a far more glamorous infant than Baby Jesus, and apparently, he was far more mischievous. (Not that we actually ever get to hear much about Baby Jesus's life between being born and growing up.) Baby Krishna was notorious for his love of butter and all things butter-related, and according to the Hindu mythology, had a rascally habit of breaking into houses and stealing all of the butter! Which makes me a huge fan. As part of today's celebrations, a giant human pyramid is formed to reach a pot full of butter and money that's suspended like 20-30 feet in the air! Like a pinata, the pot is broken so everyone can partake of the buttery goodness, but as the pyramid is formed and it's constituents try to maintain their balance,they are sprayed with water by crowd full of people hoping to see a good fall to the ground!!

Yeah, it's called "MYSORE"

Tim and I just got back from a three-day weekend in Mysore, a city that's quite a bit nicer than it's name would suggest. We stayed at the Windflower Spa and Resort, saw some temples, the Mysore Palace, some monkeys, etc. I posted a photo album to my facebook, but if you aren't on there (or are, but are not my friend), you should be able to see the entire album here.

My favorite part of the trip was when we met a guy with grey teeth who made us go to his house to see his "mother" hand-rolling incense. Even though we knew that this is exactly what tourists should NOT do, we did it anyway, and followed the guy through filthy streets, past a nauseating dried-fish market, to his door-less alley-way home. A lady was there, sitting on the floor by the entry way, spreading an odorless paste made from charcoal onto bamboo sticks, then rolling them on a stone. She rolls 6,000 sticks of incense a day, letting them dry in the sun before dipping them in the perfumed oils that give them all distinct aromas. Thinking we would just buy some of her incense and get the hell of of there, I was ready to leave when we were beckoned further into the house by an older gentleman. The living room was filled with photos and trophies - the guy had been a champion bodybuilder in his younger days. He took one look at Tim and asked if he played Rugby (he does). Apparently Tim has the tell-tale Rugby neck that I never knew existed. The older guy then proceeded to show us his oil collection, explaining that he runs a home business. He rubbed several different oils on both of us, explaining the properties and purposes of each. I began to get more and more freaked out, especially when the man with the grey teeth brought us some chai. My first thought was that the water in the tea could be suspect, and my second thought, as I took a sip, was that we were being roofied so that they could steal our wallets and/or kill us. Tim drank all of his tea, but I stopped at the one sip, thinking that one of us should have their wits about them, in case the bodybuilder needed to be fought off. Luckily, there were no drugs in the tea, and all we had to do to get out of there was to buy some incense and a couple of vials of oil. We didnt really want or need either of these things, but the experience was well worth it.
Speaking of being sold things we didn't want, the street hawkers of Mysore are far more obnoxious and aggressive than the people here in Bangalore. We were harassed to no end, and even had to leave the palace grounds early just to escape the never-ending barrage of sales-pitches. I tried to capture some of this on tape as several men followed us to our waiting car, but the video does not even begin to do it justice..

So, that guy in the pictures below? My boyfriend Tim moved to India to live with me this past weekend. Just in case I forgot to mention it to you, that's who that guy is. So far, Tim likes eating dirty street meats and mutton dosas with his bare hands, riding an old rusted bicycle (that my landlord might have accused him of stealing), pointing at cows, riding by himself in speeding rickshaws, and being really hot in his new Indian outfits. Seriously, his ability to settle in and navigate around town is impressive, to say the least.

Also,I am happier than I ever have been in my entire life. I'm just going to leave it at that, because I'm kind of grossing myself out.

Our friend Andy Brown is demanding that Tim contribute to this blog, at least in the form of food reviews. We have three potential titles so far, and a rating system from 1-8 Vishnu Arms. If you would like to contribute a suggestion for the title of Tim's food review section, please do so now, and I'll put the ones we have so far up for a vote in the next day or so.