Dark Days

I've been back in Bangalore for almost two weeks since my incredible trip home.  From the moment I landed, the weather has mirrored my sadness.  We are in monsoon season now, and while the rain lets up often enough, we cannot shake the dark clouds that loom overhead.  It's been so dark and damp and chilly that it seems weird to think that it is still July, still summer back in the States.  The trip back seems so far off, so long ago, it's almost as though it never happened.  I find myself staring blankly at all of the photographs that I took, trying to accept the idea that it is me in those photos, smiling and happy and surrounded by my favorite people in the whole world. I try to remember what it felt like to be back, but that only makes me more homesick.

I was fortunate enough to be able to pack each day with friends and family and fun.  And I was able to spend time by myself, to walk around the city alone and unafraid, independent and free.  I loved that no one noticed me.  When I insisted that Jef wear his bright-red, onesie pajamas, complete with butt hatch to the grocery store on the 4th of July, no one even glanced at us.  It felt amazing to not be stared at, to go about my business without people bothering me and reminding me that I don't belong.  It was absolutely the best vacation of my entire life.  At home.

Fortunately, I suppose, I started a new project at work today, so I should be too busy in the coming weeks to spend my time wallowing.  I am going to try to force myself to update this more often, even when I feel like I'm going to be negative, which is why I had been hesitating to write very regularly.  I've found that the one thing that motivates me to leave the house on the weekends is the possibility of taking a good photograph, so at the very least I should have picture posts when I don't feel like I have much to say about life here.  The photos below were taken yesterday.

The view from our balcony

Another attempt to illustrate the cloud cover

Typical traffic scene - family of five on a motorcycle.  Notice how only the dad wears a helmet.

Mangy but cute dog on MG road

Buying socks on the street

I was excited to read that this bookstore had a women's interest section.  Until I got there.

Around the corner from my apartment.  Notice the large pile of cow shit in the right corner.

Cleanest little stretch of ground in the city.

It seems to be baby cow season - they are all over the neighborhood right now.

These signs are everywhere and they creep me out.

Front door of a neighbor's house

Another neighbor's "house"

The dogs don't seem to mind living in the trash.  It makes me sad.

The above-pictures dog's brother, scrounging for food.  Typical street corner - and we live in a "nice" area.